The Pits
As a pastor I tend to hear the worst of it: cancer, death, divorce, cancer, tumors, surgery, cancer, pain, death, and cancer (yes, I meant to say death and cancer that many times!). Chances are, you have experienced one of these or most of these in your life and the lives of your friends and family. None of us are exempt from the pitfalls of life – the feeling of complete sadness and helplessness. The thought has probably crossed your mind: what is it that I can do? Everything is out of my hands! Is there nothing and no one who can help?
A Deep Pit
The metaphor of looking at life like walking a path is one that stretches back throughout history. David, in his psalms, rejoices God and the way in which he has guided the King’s path in life (Psalm 16:11, 17:4-5, 18:36, 23:3). Even Jesus teaches about the “narrow gate” and the “narrow path” in his Sermon on the Mount (Matt 7:13-14). If we look at life like a walking path, we can point out the highs and lows of life as the mountains and valleys. David again reflects on these when he writes his popular line, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). These mountains and valleys represent the times of pure joy and happiness and the times of great sadness and depression. While these valleys are certainly the “lows” of life, there is still a path that leads into and out of the valley. Because of this, I want to suggest that despair is something completely different: a pit in the path of life.
See, despair is something completely different than sadness, anger, or remorse. The Bible uses a few different words to describe this state. In the Old Testament, the authors used the words ya’ash and de’abown. The first, ya’ash (Ecc 2:20) is more precise in its description of the emotional feeling of despair – to despair, be desperate, to desist/despond, or to be cast down in spirit. On the other hand, de’abown (Deut 28:65) fills in the physical toll of despair – fainting, pining, or languishing. In the New Testament, authors used the word exaporeo (2 Cor 4:8) – structurally meaning without passage, or, no way out. From these words we get a new understanding: despair is more than an emotion, it is a state of life that affects both the emotional and physical elements of a person. One of the most imaginative ways I’ve heard despair described is like this: “Ah!’ said Luther, ‘affliction is the best book in my library;’ and let me add, the best leaf in the book of affliction is that blackest of all the leaves, the leaf called heaviness, when the spirit sinks within us, and we cannot endure as we could wish” (Charles Spurgeon). Despair is a pit of emotional and physical turmoil where heaviness, hopelessness, and languor fill our spirits and trap us in our walk of life.
Why this pit?
As a condition that is far more involved than just sadness, despair creates an experience of hopelessness. Imagining despair as a deep pit paints the picture of having no way out, lacking hope, or to be utterly at a loss. There is no way to turn. There is no one to turn towards. The walls of this pit are high and cannot be scaled. The situation is helpeless. It is this feeling that causes so many of us such distress in our lives. From our experiences of infertility, cancer, death, illness, and all sorts of hardship, we know all too well what it is like to feel as though we have no where to go and no way to help.
While this pit of life, especially while in the midst of it, has all the feelings of helplessness and worthlessness, I believe that God uses it for our good. Now I understand that many will raise the questions: how can death be good? How can God use pain and cancer in a good way? What kind of God would actually allow such suffering? I want to rely on the wisdom of Charles Spurgeon to give incite to this change of view about despair: he reflects, “I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain.” From a man who struggled with depression and pain for the majority of his life, Spurgeon understands well the feeling of hopelessness, of despair. He knows what it is like to stare at the walls of the pit and think that there is no way he can overcome this obstacle. But yet, he rejoices in God and remains thankful for the experiences of his life. Why? Because he earnestly believed that “men will never become great in divinity until they become great in suffering.”
Anything is worth it if it brings us closer to Christ. That was Spurgeon’s idea when he concluded that: “You will never know the fullness of Christ until you know the emptiness of everything else.” In other words, you don’t realize how much you need Christ until you really need him. Despair is the moment in our lives where we are put into a position when we are finally faced with the realization that, more than anything else, we need Christ! There are two ways in which we can allow despair to usher us on towards greater joy: love God more and love others more. By realizing that we need Christ and he is our only ray of hope, we learn to trust God more with our life. We still get upset and deeply saddened by loss and pain; however, the foundation underneath those emotions roots us in the strength and hope of Christ. Furthermore, from our experience in despair, we are given an opportunity to turn towards others in love and care. Spurgeon reasoned that, “There are none so tender as those who have been skinned themselves. Those who have been in the chamber of affliction know how to comfort those who are there.” God wastes nothing; he allows the experiences we have to draw us closer to him and to go to the help of those in their pit of despair.